Re: RE: [xmca] Where does the smile come from?

["Mary van der Riet" <vanderriet@ukzn.ac.za>]

Hi Mike
thanks very much for the chapter and for the wishes. I think both our
lives have changed completely. Womb to world seems to be quite a shock
to the system, and for me person to mother is rather overwhelming, but
wonderful.

I hope to bring him to ISCAR in September, if all goes according to
plan, so then you can see the smiles for yourselves. 
regards
Mary



Mary van der Riet; School of Psychology; University of KwaZulu-Natal
Private Bag X01, Scottsville, 3209

email: vanderriet@ukzn.ac.za
tel: 033 260 6163;  fax: 033 2605809

>>> mike cole <lchcmike@gmail.com> 02/27/11 19:59 PM >>>
Warmest congratulations, Mary!! Whoa, that is a lot of excitement all at
once isn't it!
Whose life changed more, the baby's or yours?

The attached chapter we wrote a few years ago is perhaps out of date,
but it
has a lot of material on smiling. Its a fantatsticaly interesting
phenomenon
and you, lucky duck, get to experience it right now.

Best Wishes for yours and the baby's happy future.

mike

On Sun, Feb 27, 2011 at 6:07 AM, Mary van der Riet
<vanderriet@ukzn.ac.za>wrote:

> Thanks for the responses, and to Rod for the references. I
particularly
> enjoyed the idea that he is probably 'busy with something else more
> important right now' - that sounds about right.
> Mary
>
>
>
> Mary van der Riet; School of Psychology; University of KwaZulu-Natal
> Private Bag X01, Scottsville, 3209
>
> email: vanderriet@ukzn.ac.za
> tel: 033 260 6163;  fax: 033 2605809
>
> >>> "Denise Newnham" <dsnewnham@bluewin.ch> 02/27/11 14:10 PM >>>
> HI everyone,
>
> Mary hi, I agree with this very interesting answer below. I had four
> children and I will never forget being so excited when the second day
my
> little baby 'smiled' at me and when I excitedly and cooingly related
> this
> happy event I was told in rather a cold tone that this was a burp or
> other
> eliminatory type expression. Well then what does a mother do but not
> smile
> in return... scary. I subsequently refused all guides to child rearing
> and
> decided to do it the South African southern Mama style. Lots of hugs
and
> affection and go with the flow.
>
> Congratulations by the way Mary:)
>
> Warmest thoughts
> Denise
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: xmca-bounces@weber.ucsd.edu [mailto:xmca-bounces@weber.ucsd.edu]
> On
> Behalf Of Rod Parker-Rees
> Sent: dimanche 27 février 2011 11:55
> To: eXtended Mind, Culture, Activity
> Subject: RE: [xmca] Where does the smile come from?
>
> Hi Mary,
>
> I like the idea, still found in many cultures around the world, that
> babies
> have two births - the physical one and then, usually around 6-8 weeks
> later,
> what we might call a 'psychological' birth. The physical birth is
> 'premature' because of the irreconcilable difficulty of relative sizes
> of
> babies' heads and women's pelvises so, like kangaroos, the infant's
> development has to be completed outside the womb. Parents will
recognise
> the
> significant social transformation which comes when the baby 'arrives'
> and
> this is often associated with intentional smiles (in Colwyn
Trevarthen's
> terms this marks the beginning of primary intersubjectivity, though he
> now
> argues that this is present from birth). In other cultures this is
seen
> as
> the moment when the baby's spirit finally settles in our world, having
> previously been still connected to the spirit world from whence it
came.
> This 'arrival' is hard to pinpoint but very clear, particularly in the
> kind
> of eye-contact which marks a social connection.
>
> Watson's work on infant responses to contingency suggests that babies
> smile
> in recognition of contingency between their actions and the
information
> they
> get back from the physical world. Attentive parents (and especially
> mothers
> who have a head - or womb- start in developing familiarity with the
> baby)
> offer particularly attuned contingent responses so are more likely to
> elicit
> responsive smiles which, in turn, serve as very powerful affective
> rewards,
> enabling babies to condition their parents to enjoy engaging in
attuned
> interactions.
>
> The best way to 'bring out' that magical smile is probably to let
> yourself
> go and just engage with your baby. I have often worried (as someone
who
> teaches on Early Childhood Studies programmes) whether too much
> conscious
> awareness of what a baby ought to be doing 'by now' might come to
stand
> in
> the way of the relaxed, almost contemplative, 'full-on' interaction
> which
> babies seem to need in order to support their entry into sociocultural
> communication (which is not, of course, to say that they are not
> communicative before this, only perhaps more physiologically).
>
> The work by Fonagy, Gergely and Target, which has been discussed on
this
> forum in the past, presents a detailed summary of research into early
> communication, affect regulation and attachment (I have just been
> reading
> their book - 'Affect Regulation, Mentalization and the Development of
> the
> Self' - first published in 2002). They suggest, following Watson (not
to
> be
> confused with the behaviorist!)  that babies begin life with a
> preference
> for perfect contingency (such as they find in the sensorimotor
> correspondences between motor acts and perceptual effects) but
'switch'
> at
> about 3 months to a preference for 'high but imperfect' contingency -
> such
> as they find in social interactions where familiar others respond
> sensitively and attunedly to their actions and affect-displays.
>
> Benjamin Spock's advice to mothers to 'enjoy your baby' may be
intensely
> irritating to some (easy for a man to say!) but I think it is still an
> important message - if your baby is not smiling yet that is because
> she/he
> is busy doing something which for her/him is probably more important
> just
> for now.
>
> Apologies if this sounds preachy!
>
> All the best,
>
> Rod
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: xmca-bounces@weber.ucsd.edu [mailto:xmca-bounces@weber.ucsd.edu]
> On
> Behalf Of Mary van der Riet
> Sent: 27 February 2011 06:29
> To: xmca@weber.ucsd.edu
> Subject: [xmca] Where does the smile come from?
>
> Baby books lead me to expect my newborn to deliver a smile to me in
> about a
> week. As a significant form of social interaction, where does this
smile
> 'magically' come from and why isn't it there earlier? What is going on
> in
> Thomas's 5 week old mind before this smile appears? What do I do to
> bring it
> out?
>
> There must be an xmca response to this!
>
> Mary
>
>
>
>
>
> Mary van der Riet; School of Psychology; University of KwaZulu-Natal
> Private Bag X01, Scottsville, 3209
>
> email: vanderriet@ukzn.ac.za
> tel: 033 260 6163;  fax: 033 2605809
>
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